Hangover

Hangovers in the hospitality world. Basically heritage structures, adapted as modern hotels. Here's looking at those who are the most succesful. And later, a look at the one;s who were least. Indian properties only.

Success Stories

1. Le Dupleix, Pondicherry

The best place in the pretty de la Cite. A converted mansion which is chic in the creole sense. French and Tamil influences filter down to a very likeable traditional chic through this intimate little hotel which has now become the toast of town. Speaking of toast, the food is supposedly delightful. At around 5k per night, its excellent value for money. 

2. The Malabar House, Kochi

As intimate a place as any. A colonial mansion in Fort Kochi, coupled with all the trappings of a boutique hotel. The hotel pushes all the right buttons - a sexy pool, traditional elements, contemporary outlook and the perfect amount of exclusivity that makes it border on obscurity but not quite. However, it is a tad expensive, and there are too few rooms to savour.

3. Devigarh, Delwara

All hail. The mother of all boutique hotels - heritage or otherwise, Devigarh is a legend in hospitality design. Previously a typically pretty Rajasthani Fort, it is still that. But deviating from the traditional stance of equating heritage forts and palaces with kitschy museums where people can sleep in, Devigarh is brazenly clean, sharp, minimalist, luxurious and all the other words that will make the designer in you inspired. Awesomeness redefined.

4. The Wildflower Hall, Mashobra

It'll never win contemporary design awards, but the traditionalism of the most luxurious hotel in all of the Himalayas has a lot to offer in 'theme design', if it may be called. Its a perfect colonial hangover, and all the more luxurious. Wood panellings, chandeliers, portraits of proud sahibs, fireplaces et al, and the most stunning views with each. This former hall of residence of Lord Kitchener will have the departed spirit wishing he were still alive.

5. Umaid Bhavan Palace, Jodhpur

Taj have been extremely temperamental in terms of design. While a few are excellently exemplary (Taj Mahal Bombay's quirkiness), others remain woefully idiotic (the Delhi Taj Mahal's eyesore-full lobby). At Umaid Bhavan, it hits all the right buttons by staying away from any. The iconic art deco architecture of the last grand palace of the world has been well maintained, and how. It is the most atmospheric period piece of luxury you can ever stay in. You'll end up feeling like that diva who ambles around in the bedsheet before finding her little black dress, or a marble tub in the centre of a grand bathroom to soak in.

The Fucked-ups

1. Neemrana Fort

Neemrana, to me, seems the most overhyped design accomplishment (if it truly is that) on the planet. There is absolutely nothing new or inspiring or even remotely engaging in this ramshackle collection of antique furniture amid a fort a lit by diwali lights. And its even more irritating once it comes to the prices. Its spartan at best, if not cheesy.

2. Taj Lake Palace, Udaipur

Agreed, its a heritage property, and that its the most jawdroppingly romantic hotel I could ever think of, but the kitschyness of it all is just homicidal. One would think he's paying just for staring at the wall paintings, or the well collected but overbearing collection of Jodhpur manufactured antiques. Its an excellent place, but with decor thats blown its acceptable top.

3. The Claridges, New Delhi

A well meant effort but a classic lost plot. This art deco gem on Aurungzeb Road has no seeming thread that binds the hotels decor together. The rooms aren't bad looking, but you wont expect that from a 50 year old veteran in the city's most exclusive district. Plain disappointing.

4. The Oberoi Grand, Kolkata

A hotel that needs a desperate facelift. Its an absolutely stunning hotel, in terms of both service and ambience, but where Wildflower Hall succeeds, the historic Grand falls squat on its face. Yes, its supposed to be understandably themed to its history, but not to the point of outdatedness.

5. The Raj Palace, Jaipur

Another classic case of a hotel that draws guests by promising them more kitsch than sex could ever be. Its just over the top. It suffocates you with all its 'painful recreation' of the 'decadence' of a bygone era. And to say that the world's most expensive suite has a ferrari bathroom is seemingly pointless, as the miniature painting behind the bedstead is just too eyecatching to allow ferrari its moments. An insult to discerning taste, the place is perfect for halfwit westerners who are looking for an excuse to show off their wealth.

Disappoint, Disappoint

Hotels that never fail to... ahem... disappoint.

1. The Lalit, all across the country

The Private Enterprise with the Public Sector lethargy. The Lalit has single handedly destroyed the opportunity of having hotels in prime locations across the country with downright crappy design choices and service that can't even beat ITDC. Add to that a collab with the absolutely unimaginative Intercontinental chain, and then snapping it to lose the little credibility left. Personal experience reminds me off paan stains in the bathroom of the Delhi property (at Barakhamba Road, nothing below 10 digit land prices). And the whole dump houses a rather fine collection of  contemporary Indian Art. Thankfully, the chain is going in for an overhaul, and we can see some improvement on the radar. The Delhi Lalit is turning out to be likeable enough, but hope for the best for the rest. Especially Kolkata's Great Eastern. And that website's gotta go.

2. The Ashok, Delhi

Expected, many would believe, but the Ashok could very nearly have been off the list. Only that its temperamental. The Ashok swings between bouts of excellent promise to downright idiocy. An excellent collection of F&B options, the best convention facilities in the city, but rooms that look like they've been ripped off ten year old editions of Inside Outside. And what to say of the lobby and the public spaces... Idiotic signage, crass staff bad carpet choice, panels and partitions that look like they'll fall on your head and graffitied walls in some of the more deserted corridors. The Ashok can very well pull its act together, otherwise itll continuously disappoint, despite the low expectation levels.

3. ITC Hotels, all across

OK, now i'm getting a bit adventurous. ITC figures here purely because of its design choice, despite a fine array of services and a high degree of credibility. Crappy is the word. Neogothic meets Hafeez Contractor for ITC Grand Central in Bombay? How bout a greek temple minus the triangular roof for Grand Maratha. Or maybe the mock english mansion for Windsor. The list is long and sad. Its only bright spots like the Mughal and the delightful Sonar that redeem the chain slightly. But as long as a management with PUPPY tastes rule, and Hafeez Contractor survives, ITC has little chance of stepping out of the Disneyland aesthetic.

4. Leela Palace Kempinski, Bangalore

Another one that features here for its Design (or rather, the lack of it) despite having a fan following that would probably murder me and then murder the owners of blogspot in an effort to effectively eradicate all sources of insults for Leela BLR. Simply put, the design is over the top, gaudy and more suited to a new-money-punjabi couple building there dream home in Patiala, or a Russian Oil Czar wanting to have a Taj-Mahal like retreat with stained glass impressions of himself and his many mistresses along with a fluted column peristyle to house his Rolls Royces. If it has to play grand, then there are better ways to do it. Not by going all out with the most idiotically classical aesthetic one could find. It simply puts to shame the excellent level of service on offer, for which the hotel was declared the Best Biz hotel in the world by T+L last year.

5. Galaxy Hotel, Gurgaon

Boutique? More like coffee table rip-off. Its contemporary, but there's nothing particularly likeable about it. its not bad, but there's nothing worth appreciating either. The service is dodgy at best. And GALAXY HOTEL SPA SHOPPING as the sign? I dont blame you for doubting the intentions of the hotel at first go. A more fine tuned styling would work rather than a blind strategy to market itself as 'modelled' on the finest boutique hotels of the world. Bullcrap. Even Crowne Plaza does better when it comes to design. No character at all. And The Monk? what do you expect to eat and drink at this joint? Old Monk? Saatvik Khana? Monastic silence confounds me. A classic case of a wannabe with and empty skull and a broken compass. Fill 'er up.

6. Neemrana Fort

Its purely because of the astronomical rates. Delhi's favourite weekend escape was once lauded for it's 'simple, rustic' design. No doubt that nath and waczriag did an excellent job in recovering the fort, but the design, for now, is just too simple. and they expect nuns for guests. the rooms are spartan, and kitschy at best. heritage impediments the service. Everything doesn't quite meet up to the expectations except for the atmosphere. More required.

7. Taj, in select places

Especially Taj Bengal Kolkata, Taj Palace Delhi, Taj Connemara Chennai and Taj President Bombay. Taj Bengal was once fine enough, but now that Taj's degraded it to Business from Luxury, along with Taj Palace, its been suffering neglect. Rescue it, please. Taj Palace too. Great stuff on offer, and the club rooms are pretty nice, but market it as a luxe place. Taj Connemara is an absolute waste of heritage status and prime property. But nothing compares to the colossal wasteland that is Taj President. Cuffe Parade? I'd jump off the top floor if i got such prime property and not develop it into the amazing-est hotel the city's ever seen. But no, the management demotes it to tier three and decides that Bandra deserves better. These 4 places need trues saviours.

8. The Claridges, around Delhi

No vision, seriously. Aurungzeb Road, and a heritage status to add to that. Eat me hollow. But making a hotel that competes more with the lines of Janpath than Imperial really knocks me off. and the prices are equally high as well. Its the hotel's choice for going for the mediocre when it can very well afford the best. and dont even get me started about the other properties. Not inspiring enough at all.

9. HHI, Calcutta, Bhubaneshwar and Banaras

Who would ever want to stay in a name like that? especially when you learn it stands for Hotel Hindusthan International? you half expect it to be on the Gurgaon Expressway alongside Hotel Swapnil International and Lalita Towers, with its own vaishnav dhaba. The bhubaneshwar property is still ok, but Calcutta's is a black hole, more so after the opening of a flyover right in front of it. Its almost as if an accident on the bridge means a bus would lunge across the railing right into the suite on the 4th floor. apart from that, little vision, no character. Varanasi's is absolutely horrendous.

10. Radisson, Delhi 

Location. Very close to the airport, but idiotic location. Its like having a michelin starred restaurant in the middle of Rewari's busiest market and attached dairy. Peer thru the nettings on the periphery and you can see our very own sea of illegal constructions. not to mention a bad paint job and a half hearted effort at maintaining a 5 star tag. and the opening of the flyover right in front, a la HHI (although Swapnil Intl and Lalita Towers are nearby). Radisson was never famous for any sort of vision in its hotels, so that is not commented on. 

Urban Chic : Asia

Metro, Chic and Luxe. Starting with Asia.


1. Tawaraya, Kyoto

Three centuries of being the country's best traditional style hotel is only a blip on the illustrious radar of this Japanese  Ryokan. Think tatami floors, think soak tubs, think oriental gardens, think butlerettes, think high tech, think old world. Mix all with minimalist zen. Relish the esoteric flavour of your orgasmic stay. And gloat about the fact that you've stayed in the preferred playground of the jetset.


No website that i've come across. Heightens the exclusivity.


Rates begin from 300 USD. Thats about 15k per night.


2. The Manor, New Delhi

Chic is the word. Sitting pretty in South Delhi's plush Friends Colony, The Manor has a dozen rooms and suites all designed for understated comfort. Easy on the eyes, personalized when it comes to service. A magnet for the classier hip who prefer the non-limelight. Awesome food. Serene manicured lawns.


themanordelhi.com


Rates begin from 7k. A positive steal.


3. W Seoul Walkerhill

Funked up. Completely. This place is pulsating and oozing with design. Awesome stuff. Each view is like a coffee table book cover. And you have all the mod-cons for business as well as more than enough for entertainment.


whotels.com


Rates begin from USD 300. 15k.


4. The Aman at Summer Palace, Beijing

Housed in a series of traditional structures, most over a 100 years old, the Aman is the chain's first (extremely welcome) move towards urban properties. Chinese kitsch on the outset, the insides are pretty luxe, with their muted references to the immediate vernacular. Awesome place, Aman never fails to disappoint.


amanresorts.com


Rates begin from USD 550 (25k)


5. Aman New Delhi

While the Beijing Aman hovers on the outskirts, The Aman New Delhi sits slap bang in the centre of the city, giving a new lease of life to a compound that once housed the idiotically useless Lodhi Hotel. Location is the first thing that hits you- its probably the city's most exclusive district, with its cultural institutions, tombs, parks, and residences of the uppity. And then its the design. Very boxy (the way i like it), lots of Screens, lots of minimalist accentuations. And then the rooms, most of which have their own plunge pools. Aman completely junks the business hotel theory and has established an urban resort that works like no other. Be it through the 50 m lap pool, or the first Aman restaurants open to outsiders, or its fleet of luxury ambassadors. The Aman is a succesfully contemporarized version of classic chic and definitely the best in the city if not the country.


amanresorts.com


Rates begin from USD 550 (25k)


6. The Sukhothai, Bangkok

One of the initial chic urban hotels that Asia saw, The Sukhothai is a definitive version of the ethnic chic thats such a rage nowadays. Think Thai accentuations like meditative Buddhas, lily pools, silky furnishings, et al. Just add a contemporary twist like wood panelling, cubist lamps among others and you've got a pretty little design guru of a hotel.


sukhothai.com


Rates begin from USD 250 (13k)


7. Landmark Mandarin Oriental, Hong Kong

As luxe as edgy design can get, the Landmark MO is a chunk of sharp design that first shocks you with its upfront look and then pampers you silly with its service and luxuries.


mandarinoriental.com


Rates begin from HKD 3100. About 19k


8. Four Seasons Hotel Tokyo at Marunouchi

While the main FS property at Chinzan-So is a horror story in chintz, Marunouchi is redemption in its sleek and minimalist approach to top class luxury. Small too, unusual for a FS property, but equally high on the legendary service.


fourseasons.com


Rates begin from JPY 54000. 27k.




Special Mentions


ITC Sonar, Kolkata
Its the architecture more, and interiors less, as the hotel still manages to squeeze in a bit of its idiotic Vegas inspired touches in otherwise what is the best looking building in town.


The Park- Chennai, Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore
Awesome stuff that all 4 have to offer, that means cool design, good food and a hip atmosphere apart from superb locations. Just not luxe enough.


The Metropolitan, Bangkok
Too western in its Oriental approach. Seems more like a Buddha Bar in London than a Bangkok hi-design hotel.


W Hong Kong
About to open, and if other W properties are anything to go by, then you better start panting now. Should be a funked up bitch.


Park Hyatt-Tokyo, Seoul, Beijing and Shanghai
Cool stuff, but a bit too biz-oriented at the core. But Luxe enough.


Trident, Gurgaon
Another fabulous looking hotel. Not Luxe enough again, not to mention the Gurgaon location. If just Oberoi took it over...