the other deep blue

how do you deviate from the usual exotic paradises that most beach resorts claim to be? here's a sampling...

1. warapuru, itacare, brazil
anoushka hempel meets brazilian rainforest meets virgin beaches. extraordinary, if purely for the design value. soon to open, sure to shock.
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2. vamizi island, quirimbas archipelago, mozambique
mozambique? well, its a lesser known cousin to seychelles and mauritius, but its islands are equally gorgeous and even more virgin, and vamizi is perfect as a luxe-eco-exotic lodge.
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3. villa dubrovnik, dubrovnik, croatia
a dramatic cliffside setting to the most exotic of all mediterranean destinations, with the turquoise waters of the adriatic below and the white minimalism of the sleek hotel above.
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4. bedarra, great barrier reef, australia
another piece of minimalism washed ashore. i'm not complaining. especially if you're sipping a martini while sauntering in your plunge pool while gazing at a sunset over the pacific. the wood cabins in the forests by the beach is the best way to go back to nature without the heartache.
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5. the datai, langkawi, malaysia
a local legend, and for good reason. asian neo-traditional design meets lush rainforest meets pristine beaches and usual cliches for exotic seaside paradisos, but with ghm flair.
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6. amanwana, moyo island, indonesia
aman resorts at its seaside best? arguable, but that doesnt alter the fact that the place is amazing. tents with sleek interiors and service+location to match.
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7. w retreat and spa, maldives
how do you even attempt being different in a place which has typified lagoon resorts? by funking it out. w brings in the jazz, retains the luxe and lets out the cliches. works for me.
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8. parrot cay, turks and caicos
the carribean is a step further than maldives - its even tougher to be different in a place with such easy access to americans. yet parrot cay retains the historical aspect without being kitschy. the neo-colonial look is not exactly path breaking, but refreshing enough to be loved.
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9. amphityron hotel, navplion, greece
the aegean beckons with a historic city as a backdrop and a modern hotel as the host. great design, awesome location. greek without the white plaster-blue dome route.
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10. le sirenuse, positano, italy
positano in itself is a twistedly awesome place to stay - a hillside that tumbles down to the sea. before the water, on the slope, is an italian legend that looks like one, but has a refreshing design sensibility on the inside. and its luxe enough to write volumes on.
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11. ada, bodrum, turkey
middle eastern mansion meets mediterranean seas. pure sexy.
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12. hix island house, vieques, puerto rico
retrosexy, simply put. my kinda place.
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13. katakies hotel, santorini, greece
if you have to go the white-blue-greek island line, then this one's like no other. stands out because its so well standing in.
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14. rayavadee, krabi, thailand
another south east asian legend. steers clear of phuket, keeps the asian touch, binges on luxury and even has a grotto set restaurant to boot. and the isthumus setting? ah, that too.
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15. fort tiracol, goa, india
historic fort restored to its portuguese brightness, overlooking the arabian sea? goa at its different-est.
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seclude

Back after a pretty long time.

This time around, its looking at places which offer seclusion. And a jaw-droppingly awesome one at that.

1. 360 Leti, Uttarakhand Himalayas, India
Himalayas is good enough. Add to that a journey that involves a couple of hours of hiking to get to the place, and seductive little stone cottages with drop dead gorgeous views. I've already started saving up for this one.
Hotel Site

2. Bangaram Island Resort, Lakshadweep, India
Basically a set of clean rooms which occupy the last bit of virgin paradise on planet earth. Thank the setting, or the spartanism would have made you homicidal, especially after the parting cheque.
Hotel Site

3. Juvet Landscape Hotel, Norway
Minimalist wood boxes with floor to ceiling glass facades + Stunning Norwegian Landscape + No sign of human habitation all around = Multiple Orgasm.
Hotel Site

4. Explora en Patagonia - Hotel Salto Chico, Patagonia, Chile
Another perennial favourite with a location thats stunning enough to make you want to give up everything on earth, and luxury to help you in your quest.
Hotel Site

5. Explora en Atacama - Hotel de Larache, Atacama Desert, Chile
The driest desert on the planet, its awe-inspiring landscape and the stylish luxury of another of explora's noble renderings to mankind. If only somebody had the brains and sensitivity to do that with the unexplored swathes of India.
Hotel Site

6. Vigilus Mountain Resort, Tirol, Italy
Whats more charming than a stylish Italian Alpine Hideaway? One that is reached via a short walk from a hamlet accesible only by cable car. And the views... ah...
Hotel Site

7. Ultima Thule Lodge, Alaska, USA
For a name that sounds like it, Ultima Thule lives it up. No cell coverage and access only via red planes, along with a protected Alaskan wilderness. Makes you forgive the hotel's not-so-bad but horribly-americanized-rustic design sensibilities.
Hotel Site

8. Turtle Island, Fiji
A South-Pacific legend, this tropical gem is served only by seaplanes or boat. Getting there is a short ride, but getting aways seems impossible, if only for the 'Blue Lagoon' type natural extravaganza it beholds.
Hotel Site

9. Denis Island, Seychelles
As if a relatively obscure Indian Ocean Creole island wasn't enough, this gem is located on a smaller isle that has just recently been upgraded to a '6-flights-a-week' status. All luxuries present. Just hope all the flights stand cancelled.
Hotel Site

10. El Questro Homestead, Northern Australia
All those who have seen Australia (the Luhrmann-Jackman-Kidman one) know how gorgeously desolate Oz's northern territories can be. Add to that a romantic collection of ranches equipped with tropical gardens, balinese beds and even a couple of tennis courts.
Hotel Site

11. Shompole, Great Rift Valley, Kenya
Seductive forms, cliffside setting, african wilderness, safari chic, private pools. Sex me up big time. And an ultra luxe property.
Hotel Site

And here's a sampling of places that could've done much better in terms of locational attributes.

1. Four Seasons Mumbai - Worli doesn't deserve it. Yet.
2. ITC Sonar, Kolkata - A heartfelt favourite, yet it sits in a stinky marshland, opposite a garish 'Science City', not to mention an urban highway on two sides. A rare case of context not following the (rather fine) architecture.
3. ITC Grand Central, Mumbai - Another ITC folly. Yes, its central. But what views does the country's tallest hotel offer? The central railway line? or maybe the more authentic dhobi ghats? or the chaos on the Bombay street? bafflements galore.
4. The Manor, Delhi - Friends Colony is posh, agreed, but the trunk rail line to Bombay behind the backyard isn't quite the uppity thing. Spoils the otherwise amazingly serene ambience.
5. Radisson, Delhi - A literal plonk. Think Haryanvi urban village. Think illegal construction brick walls. Think a flyover. Think airport trauma. And just add a Radisson in between. Voila, even by the chain's low standards.

Hangover

Hangovers in the hospitality world. Basically heritage structures, adapted as modern hotels. Here's looking at those who are the most succesful. And later, a look at the one;s who were least. Indian properties only.

Success Stories

1. Le Dupleix, Pondicherry

The best place in the pretty de la Cite. A converted mansion which is chic in the creole sense. French and Tamil influences filter down to a very likeable traditional chic through this intimate little hotel which has now become the toast of town. Speaking of toast, the food is supposedly delightful. At around 5k per night, its excellent value for money. 

2. The Malabar House, Kochi

As intimate a place as any. A colonial mansion in Fort Kochi, coupled with all the trappings of a boutique hotel. The hotel pushes all the right buttons - a sexy pool, traditional elements, contemporary outlook and the perfect amount of exclusivity that makes it border on obscurity but not quite. However, it is a tad expensive, and there are too few rooms to savour.

3. Devigarh, Delwara

All hail. The mother of all boutique hotels - heritage or otherwise, Devigarh is a legend in hospitality design. Previously a typically pretty Rajasthani Fort, it is still that. But deviating from the traditional stance of equating heritage forts and palaces with kitschy museums where people can sleep in, Devigarh is brazenly clean, sharp, minimalist, luxurious and all the other words that will make the designer in you inspired. Awesomeness redefined.

4. The Wildflower Hall, Mashobra

It'll never win contemporary design awards, but the traditionalism of the most luxurious hotel in all of the Himalayas has a lot to offer in 'theme design', if it may be called. Its a perfect colonial hangover, and all the more luxurious. Wood panellings, chandeliers, portraits of proud sahibs, fireplaces et al, and the most stunning views with each. This former hall of residence of Lord Kitchener will have the departed spirit wishing he were still alive.

5. Umaid Bhavan Palace, Jodhpur

Taj have been extremely temperamental in terms of design. While a few are excellently exemplary (Taj Mahal Bombay's quirkiness), others remain woefully idiotic (the Delhi Taj Mahal's eyesore-full lobby). At Umaid Bhavan, it hits all the right buttons by staying away from any. The iconic art deco architecture of the last grand palace of the world has been well maintained, and how. It is the most atmospheric period piece of luxury you can ever stay in. You'll end up feeling like that diva who ambles around in the bedsheet before finding her little black dress, or a marble tub in the centre of a grand bathroom to soak in.

The Fucked-ups

1. Neemrana Fort

Neemrana, to me, seems the most overhyped design accomplishment (if it truly is that) on the planet. There is absolutely nothing new or inspiring or even remotely engaging in this ramshackle collection of antique furniture amid a fort a lit by diwali lights. And its even more irritating once it comes to the prices. Its spartan at best, if not cheesy.

2. Taj Lake Palace, Udaipur

Agreed, its a heritage property, and that its the most jawdroppingly romantic hotel I could ever think of, but the kitschyness of it all is just homicidal. One would think he's paying just for staring at the wall paintings, or the well collected but overbearing collection of Jodhpur manufactured antiques. Its an excellent place, but with decor thats blown its acceptable top.

3. The Claridges, New Delhi

A well meant effort but a classic lost plot. This art deco gem on Aurungzeb Road has no seeming thread that binds the hotels decor together. The rooms aren't bad looking, but you wont expect that from a 50 year old veteran in the city's most exclusive district. Plain disappointing.

4. The Oberoi Grand, Kolkata

A hotel that needs a desperate facelift. Its an absolutely stunning hotel, in terms of both service and ambience, but where Wildflower Hall succeeds, the historic Grand falls squat on its face. Yes, its supposed to be understandably themed to its history, but not to the point of outdatedness.

5. The Raj Palace, Jaipur

Another classic case of a hotel that draws guests by promising them more kitsch than sex could ever be. Its just over the top. It suffocates you with all its 'painful recreation' of the 'decadence' of a bygone era. And to say that the world's most expensive suite has a ferrari bathroom is seemingly pointless, as the miniature painting behind the bedstead is just too eyecatching to allow ferrari its moments. An insult to discerning taste, the place is perfect for halfwit westerners who are looking for an excuse to show off their wealth.

Disappoint, Disappoint

Hotels that never fail to... ahem... disappoint.

1. The Lalit, all across the country

The Private Enterprise with the Public Sector lethargy. The Lalit has single handedly destroyed the opportunity of having hotels in prime locations across the country with downright crappy design choices and service that can't even beat ITDC. Add to that a collab with the absolutely unimaginative Intercontinental chain, and then snapping it to lose the little credibility left. Personal experience reminds me off paan stains in the bathroom of the Delhi property (at Barakhamba Road, nothing below 10 digit land prices). And the whole dump houses a rather fine collection of  contemporary Indian Art. Thankfully, the chain is going in for an overhaul, and we can see some improvement on the radar. The Delhi Lalit is turning out to be likeable enough, but hope for the best for the rest. Especially Kolkata's Great Eastern. And that website's gotta go.

2. The Ashok, Delhi

Expected, many would believe, but the Ashok could very nearly have been off the list. Only that its temperamental. The Ashok swings between bouts of excellent promise to downright idiocy. An excellent collection of F&B options, the best convention facilities in the city, but rooms that look like they've been ripped off ten year old editions of Inside Outside. And what to say of the lobby and the public spaces... Idiotic signage, crass staff bad carpet choice, panels and partitions that look like they'll fall on your head and graffitied walls in some of the more deserted corridors. The Ashok can very well pull its act together, otherwise itll continuously disappoint, despite the low expectation levels.

3. ITC Hotels, all across

OK, now i'm getting a bit adventurous. ITC figures here purely because of its design choice, despite a fine array of services and a high degree of credibility. Crappy is the word. Neogothic meets Hafeez Contractor for ITC Grand Central in Bombay? How bout a greek temple minus the triangular roof for Grand Maratha. Or maybe the mock english mansion for Windsor. The list is long and sad. Its only bright spots like the Mughal and the delightful Sonar that redeem the chain slightly. But as long as a management with PUPPY tastes rule, and Hafeez Contractor survives, ITC has little chance of stepping out of the Disneyland aesthetic.

4. Leela Palace Kempinski, Bangalore

Another one that features here for its Design (or rather, the lack of it) despite having a fan following that would probably murder me and then murder the owners of blogspot in an effort to effectively eradicate all sources of insults for Leela BLR. Simply put, the design is over the top, gaudy and more suited to a new-money-punjabi couple building there dream home in Patiala, or a Russian Oil Czar wanting to have a Taj-Mahal like retreat with stained glass impressions of himself and his many mistresses along with a fluted column peristyle to house his Rolls Royces. If it has to play grand, then there are better ways to do it. Not by going all out with the most idiotically classical aesthetic one could find. It simply puts to shame the excellent level of service on offer, for which the hotel was declared the Best Biz hotel in the world by T+L last year.

5. Galaxy Hotel, Gurgaon

Boutique? More like coffee table rip-off. Its contemporary, but there's nothing particularly likeable about it. its not bad, but there's nothing worth appreciating either. The service is dodgy at best. And GALAXY HOTEL SPA SHOPPING as the sign? I dont blame you for doubting the intentions of the hotel at first go. A more fine tuned styling would work rather than a blind strategy to market itself as 'modelled' on the finest boutique hotels of the world. Bullcrap. Even Crowne Plaza does better when it comes to design. No character at all. And The Monk? what do you expect to eat and drink at this joint? Old Monk? Saatvik Khana? Monastic silence confounds me. A classic case of a wannabe with and empty skull and a broken compass. Fill 'er up.

6. Neemrana Fort

Its purely because of the astronomical rates. Delhi's favourite weekend escape was once lauded for it's 'simple, rustic' design. No doubt that nath and waczriag did an excellent job in recovering the fort, but the design, for now, is just too simple. and they expect nuns for guests. the rooms are spartan, and kitschy at best. heritage impediments the service. Everything doesn't quite meet up to the expectations except for the atmosphere. More required.

7. Taj, in select places

Especially Taj Bengal Kolkata, Taj Palace Delhi, Taj Connemara Chennai and Taj President Bombay. Taj Bengal was once fine enough, but now that Taj's degraded it to Business from Luxury, along with Taj Palace, its been suffering neglect. Rescue it, please. Taj Palace too. Great stuff on offer, and the club rooms are pretty nice, but market it as a luxe place. Taj Connemara is an absolute waste of heritage status and prime property. But nothing compares to the colossal wasteland that is Taj President. Cuffe Parade? I'd jump off the top floor if i got such prime property and not develop it into the amazing-est hotel the city's ever seen. But no, the management demotes it to tier three and decides that Bandra deserves better. These 4 places need trues saviours.

8. The Claridges, around Delhi

No vision, seriously. Aurungzeb Road, and a heritage status to add to that. Eat me hollow. But making a hotel that competes more with the lines of Janpath than Imperial really knocks me off. and the prices are equally high as well. Its the hotel's choice for going for the mediocre when it can very well afford the best. and dont even get me started about the other properties. Not inspiring enough at all.

9. HHI, Calcutta, Bhubaneshwar and Banaras

Who would ever want to stay in a name like that? especially when you learn it stands for Hotel Hindusthan International? you half expect it to be on the Gurgaon Expressway alongside Hotel Swapnil International and Lalita Towers, with its own vaishnav dhaba. The bhubaneshwar property is still ok, but Calcutta's is a black hole, more so after the opening of a flyover right in front of it. Its almost as if an accident on the bridge means a bus would lunge across the railing right into the suite on the 4th floor. apart from that, little vision, no character. Varanasi's is absolutely horrendous.

10. Radisson, Delhi 

Location. Very close to the airport, but idiotic location. Its like having a michelin starred restaurant in the middle of Rewari's busiest market and attached dairy. Peer thru the nettings on the periphery and you can see our very own sea of illegal constructions. not to mention a bad paint job and a half hearted effort at maintaining a 5 star tag. and the opening of the flyover right in front, a la HHI (although Swapnil Intl and Lalita Towers are nearby). Radisson was never famous for any sort of vision in its hotels, so that is not commented on.